


desert snowflakes (won’t stop us)

by discombobulation



Series: nothing quite like this (just wait for it) [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Adoptive Parents George & Martha Washington, Amputation, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Depression, F/F, F/M, Heavy Angst, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Trauma, Modern Era, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, War Veteran Alexander Hamilton, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-16 03:38:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14155809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/discombobulation/pseuds/discombobulation
Summary: he is non-stop. despite his boyfriend's desperate cheating. despite the phantom pains of his legs’ last moments. despite the pain of moving into a wheelchair with no help. watching as his lover moves on with another.he won’t quit.[[ hiatus notice: lost most of my files for this fic as my computer is completely fried, will have to restart and rehash all chapters ]]





	desert snowflakes (won’t stop us)

**Author's Note:**

> i love wheelchair representation. i love war vet representation. hence, literally this entire fic. 
> 
> i’ll be doing a lot of research for this fic so it’s as accurate as possible, so chapters will likely be 1-2 months apart. please don’t fret. i’m helpless.

He paused for a moment, the last to leave the airplane, as he checked over himself, luggage sitting at the side of his wheelchair as he clutched the handle like a lifeline. His uniform was tidy, his hair tied back, and his face washed. The Virginian airport was full of awaiting families and despondent arrivals, hundreds of beady eyes watching the exits. He set his eyes set ahead, desperately ignoring the looks and whispers and thoughts as the scars itches and pulled at his cheek and face. It doesn’t matter, what they say doesn't matter. Moving forward is the only thing that matters, no matter the burn of his arms from pushing his chair or the burn of eyes on his face. With a sigh, he pushed forward, looking around as he entered the main, open area of the airport. He pulled the large bag onto his lap as he squinted around, eyes searching for a sign that his family and, likely, friends were here to save him from this disaster. Finally picking out the sign reading 'ALEXANDER', he rolled his eyes fondly as he made his way to the small cluster of people awaiting his arrival that was months late.

"Alexander," Angelica hollered as she made her way over to him, meeting him in the middle with a warm hug, pushing the sign against Alexander's face. "I missed you desperately. No one here is quite as smart or fun as you." She parted with a warm smile, eyes wet with unspoken affection as her sisters finally made their own way over to Alexander. Eliza cut in front of Angelica, her tears making themselves known on his neck as she gave him a hug that spoke all the words she couldn't. Suddenly, Peggy's arms wrapping around his shoulder's in a playful embrace as she giggled, never one to cry her happiness.

"She was the one appointed to give you a big elaborate welcoming by her very self, but the minute she saw you she couldn't help herself," Peggy whispered teasingly, winking at Angelica as she tightened her hug for a moment before letting go. "But we all are glad you're home, Alex. We would stay, but we still have to prep George's house for your welcome home party." With hugs of goodbyes and promised texts, the sisters slowly disappeared from sight, leaving Alexander with his family for the first time in months.

"Mon ami," Lafayette groaned, stretching himself across Alexander's shoulders in a loose hug, "it is so good to see you. Hercules and John would be here, but Hercules is prepping your gift and John is working, we think." With that admission, Alexander's smile tightened, brow furrowing a moment before he smoothed it out. 

"That's alright, it can be more like a surprise for him then," Alexander reassured, patting Lafayette's head affectionately as he motioned George and Martha forward. "What, since when were you two so shy?" 

George laughed, shaking his head as he teased, "As shy as you, son." 

Martha, sighing goodheartedly at their antics, shook her head. "Please, we both know that if anyone got between those Schuylers and you, there would be hell to pay." The four of them laughed quietly, Lafayette grabbing Alexander's pack as he stood himself straight. 

"Let us get this show on the row, as you say. My Alex, you will love the party. Its reserved for friends and family only, so don't worry about anything."

"Son, are there clothes that you want to change in before we leave?" George asks, leaving the second, more unwelcome question of 'Do you need help?' to hide in his words. Alexander shook his head, smile tight. 

"I'd like to wait until we're back at the house. If I have to sit in an airport for any longer, I might go insane," he joked, pushing himself forward, his parents following with fond smiles as Lafayette caught up and started chattering incessantly, recounting stories and jokes to Alexander as they made their way out of the airport. Everything would be fine now; Alexander is finally home.

 

The car ride was tense, the unspoken words of concerns and worries thickening the air until it was difficult to breathe. Alexander found the atmosphere unsettling, so different from before his last tour. When everything was alright. And Alexander desperately wanted to question Lafayette, his heart screaming over the fact that John couldn't make time to see him at arrival. He tried to understand, though. John was a nurse, and was the head nurse in the E.R. He couldn't just up and leave his job and go to see his mutilated boyfriend return home after nearly two years. Alexander shoved back at the voices in his head, determined to not have an episode with his family so close to him after all the months alone with his thoughts and cold doctors. He absently rubbed his elbow, tuning himself back into the conversation Lafayette was making, quirking an eyebrow at the Frenchman's exaggerated movements and dramatic retelling of stories that he missed.

"You will not believe, Alexander, that Hercules has finally asked me on a date!" The man sighed lovingly, a fond smile gracing his face. "It was such a beautiful date. He was stuttering the entire time."

Alexander laughed at that, trying to find the mental image of big, loving Hercules finally professing his feelings to his brother. "Its about time, Laf. He's been crushing on you since forever," Alexander teased, leaning over with a overdrawn wink. "I was hoping that I would at least have a small chance at embarrassing him about it. Seems I was too late, but never say never." Lafayette let out a laugh at that, hitting Alexander gently on his shoulder.

"Mon ami, I can just imagine the things you will say. Poor Hercules will have no idea how to respond to your teasing. You were always masterful at language, will you pursue a job now that you're home?"

"Actually, son," George interjected from the passenger seat, turning to face the younger men. "I was going to ask you about that later today or even tomorrow, but now is as good as any. One of my writers quit, and we've been scrambling trying to replace her. Would you mind coming in for an interview for the position?" 

"I don't want charity," Alexander began, brow furrowing as he clenched the side of his chair.

George interrupted him, "That's not what I'm offering son. It's just an interview with myself, John Adams, and the department head, Aaron Burr. No promised positions, and I certainly can't allow myself to be biased, even towards you. This job is the backbone of many people's livelihoods, and I wouldn't ruin that just so I can put my son into a position he didn't work for. We both know that’s you would quit before it could even get that far. You'd just need to bring an updated resume and examples of your writing to show to Burr and Adams." 

With a sigh, Alexander agreed to an interview, rolling his eyes lovingly at George's exaggerated victory pose and snort from Martha. “Whatever. It’s not like you would’ve relented anyways. I would be hauled into your building and into an interview before I could even blink.” The small family laughed at that, Lafayette giving Alexander a wink as George and Martha joined hands, smiling quietly at each other over the console. Things would be okay.

Wisping white smoke and the smell of smoked meat met Alexander as he pulled himself out of the car, smiling at Maria as she hovered around a grill on the front porch, waving off Peggy’s grabby hands from cooked meat and waving back at him. He watched dogs chase after each other as he sees some more of George’s acquaintances and Hercules bent over himself, Lafayette draped elegantly atop of him. A pang of want and jealousy shot through him as he was bluntly reminded of his own absentee boyfriend. Suddenly, a large hand softly landed on his shoulder, and he knew instantly that it was George’s.

“Need any help lugging your stuff in, son? Martha prepped a bedroom on the main floor if you get too tired to leave.” Alexander forced back a wave of anger, understanding that they just care and love him. Still, he couldn’t restrain the sigh when he glanced at the ramp alongside the stairs that lead to the house, clutching the bag onto his lap.

“I should be good, ‘long as no one randomly barges in on me,” he joked. “And I’ll think about it. Depends on how wasted I’ll get tonight.” Alexander knew that he was going to stay, though. John’s lack of appearance made the decision for him; besides, he missed his family just as much as his boyfriend. And he knew he wasn’t going to be getting drunk tonight. He didn’t care much for anything anymore, and he knew that if he got drunk he would likely air out his closet unwittingly. He feared driving his people away with how different he is now than before. Alexander grunted, pushing himself into the house and following the path he knew by memory to the farthest away bathroom.

“Maybe I’ll text John,” he mused, twisting the lock on the door before tossing the bag onto the tiled floor, fumbling to get his phone out of his pocket.

 

**_Alex, 7:13P.M.: hey babe, just letting you know that I miss you <3 I can’t wait to see you again_ **

 

Nodding in satisfaction, he set his phone on the counter, grimacing as he realized he’d have to maneuver himself out of his dress blues without any help.He struggled to make quick work of the buttons, the stiff fabric unforgiving to his desperate stretching. Finally, he was able to pull himself out of the shirt and dress pants, folding them dutifully before setting them on the counter next to his phone. He pulled off his undershirt, leaving him in just his underwear as he looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes traced the scarring that marred his neck and lower jaw, that trailed down to his chest. The puffed skin around his hip and knee joint, with some perfect surgical incisions and others the harsh remnants of shrapnel. 

He tore his eyes away from the picture. No point in staring, he scolded himself, that’s what you’re going to see for the rest of your life. Alexander pulled on leggings disguised as jeans, tying off the ends before placing the quilt Martha made him over his lap, before pulling on a deep, emerald green button up. He let his hair out of the regulation ponytail, tying it up into a loose and casual bun with stray hairs. He sighed, washing his face with cold water as he greatly stored his uniform before closing the bag, checking his phone with a disappointed frown at the lack of response before exiting the bathroom, dumping his bag next to the door of the laundry room. It’s people time, he groaned to himself.

He would be lying if he said that reconnecting with all the friends that he could talk to often wasn’t refreshing. Eliza and Maria were adorable, and looking for their own apartment to move in together after years of dating. Lafayette and Hercules showered Alexander in information and affection, Hercules gifting Alexander a new emerald beanie, matching scarf, and a soft, oversized black sweater. Angelica had introduced him to her husband, John Church, who’s opinions were boring but lit up Angelica’s face the way he’d never seen anyone before. Even the new people he met were respectful and kind. 

He felt a tap on his shoulder. Once he turned around, the man and woman smiled at him, before starting up with conversation.

“I’m James Madison,” the small man introduced, smiling kindly. “I’m Hercules’s brother. It’s good to meet you, Alexander. Hercules is quite fond of you, so it’s nice to put a name to the face. This is my wife, Dolley.” The woman next to him winked, waving before moving off with Angelica, both giggling at something unknown to the two men. The looked at each other, both raising a brow before shrugging.  

“How come Hercules has never said anything about you before?” Alexander asked politely, turning his head curiously.

“Ah, that’s because while he went with our mother, I stayed with my father. And we recently just got back into contact, so I wouldn’t be surprised if it just completely escaped him while he worked on your gifts,” James explained, Alexander nodding in realization. “Oh, do you mind if I introduce you to a friend?”

Alexander shrugged, “Go ahead, I don’t mind.” James sent him a relieved smile, before turning and grabbing another man’s shoulder, pulling him over.

“Alexander, this is my good friend, Thomas Jefferson. We work in the same department under your father, but I’ve known him for years.” 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Thomas. As we both know, I’m Alexander,” he said, putting his hand out for a handshake. The other man raised an eyebrow, quickly shaking hands with Alexander before he started talking.

“Yes, Jemmy and I have been friends for a while, but my cousin is quite fond of you as well.” Thomas scrutinized him for a moment, lips curling as he responded, “I suppose I can see why.”

Alexander ignored that comment, tilting his head in confusion. “Your cousin?”

“Oh,” Thomas blinked. “Lafayette is my cousin. We look similar, but our personalities are vastly different so I’m not surprised that you weren’t able to tell.”

The three men continued talking for a moment, before something caught James’s attention and he excused himself, leaving Alexander and Thomas alone in awkward silence.  

“Well,” Thomas purred, “darlin’ I should be going, have my own networking to do an all. Here, have my number. Let’s chat again.” He slipped a piece of paper into the top jacket of Alexander’s button up, before turning and disappearing into the crowd, leaving Alexander to blink after him.

“What the fuck,” the young man muttered, turning and wheeling into the house, over to the couches where his friends had taken residence, slouching over next to Lafayette. Ignoring the Frenchman’s curious inquiries, Alexander pulled out his phone, frowning at the unusual unresponsiveness that John was showing. Maybe he had a night shift? He sent another quick text, hoping for a response.

 

**_Alex, 11:48P.M.: love you baby :) <3_ **

 

He put his phone away again, sighing dramatically as he pulled himself into the couch, throwing his head onto Lafayette’s lap.

“I’m going to bed,” Alexander muttered, “and if anyone wakes me before noon I’ll kill them.” He ignored Lafayette’s laugh as he felt gentle hands undo his bun, fingernails combing through his hair as he felt Hercules pull his legs onto his lap so he could sit next to Lafayette, draping the three of them with Alexander’s quilt.

He would think on everything that happened that day in the morning; John’s silence and absence, the enigma known as Thomas Jefferson, the writing pieces and resume for his possible future job. But all that could wait for the morning. For now, he’ll sleep easy and happy, warm and surrounded by friends. Life can wait these few moments as he finally allowed himself to relax after all the stress he’s been subjected to. 

Sleep came quick and easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly rushed, so I apologize for that. not beta-read. 
> 
> my eyes are burning but i'm really happy to be writing this. i'll even do random facts at the end of every chapter of what research i've done so that we're all the more educated for wasting our time reading about dead people.
> 
> most traumatic amputations by explosion (which is how Ham was disabled) result in uneven amputations (meaning that they could lose an entire leg and just an ankle, so on so forth) and most amputating done by doctors is more extreme than the initial amputation so its easier to fit prosthesis.


End file.
